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Creative Writing Uncategorized

Overripe

By Muna Mir

‘You know I hated you when we first met.’ 

The confession excites me slightly. We’re walking through an overgrown field by the river. Something touches my leg. It’s grass. Everything around us is grass. Long and overgrown, too early in the season to be cut, but trying so desperately to get there that it reaches up and tickles the tender spot behind my knees. It’s grass but I swat at it anyway. I can’t remember meeting Flora. I’m walking behind her now, watching the brown tips of her hair turn golden in the sunlight. 

‘What changed?’ I ask. 

‘I’m not sure,’ she replies. 

Before we became friends I hadn’t thought that Flora had known of me at all. Tracing the inception of our friendship was one of our favourite pastimes. Neither of us could pin down quite when it had happened, less so why, only that we were happy it did. It seemed to me that one day the sun had risen and we had woken up intimately connected to one another. That was all. Our tentative colloquialisms had turned into knowing glances and we became a pair. I couldn’t imagine how it had ever been otherwise. I wouldn’t survive severance. 

But Flora must have known me before. She may not have known my name, or my favourite film, or the two colours of nail polish she now knew I kept under my sink, but she’d known me enough to hate me. A thrill rushes through me. I watch the way her hand trails the high stalks of grass. When the adrenaline ebbs, it is replaced by a warm pool in my stomach, like beer, sloshing gently. ‘I suppose we began actually speaking and then something clicked.’ 

‘I think you’re right,’ I say. But I can’t remember it happening. It feels like I should be able to remember the exact moment with sound (the signing of a contract, the clicking close of a pen), but I can’t. She stops suddenly and turns around. 

‘Sorry. That was kind of a shitty thing to say.’ 

I shake my head. It was. It doesn’t matter. 

‘You know I love you, right?’ 

I nod. Her eyebrows are furrowed and cast shadows across her eyes. 

The warmth in my stomach has grown sickly. I get this sometimes. Always with Flora. It’s greed, I think, the way my body floods with warmth every time she does something she has to apologise for. Symbolic of scales tipping in my favour. Or an indicator that I still have some chance at self-preservation. Or maybe it’s some perverse greed: happiness wrought from the knowledge that I have any ounce of power over her. It’s times like this that I think about ending things. A voice inside of me screeches that it would be impossible, but I know that isn’t true. I could do it. I could stop talking to Flora, and after a while she would fade into memory. I could work until Flora was just a combination of sounds in my head. ‘I love you too,’ I say, and I mean it. 

I think she might kiss me then but she turns back around and I’m left to stare at the gold flecks of light in her hair again. 

We’re going to a field somewhere. Somewhere pretty, I’ve been told. Flora had found it (a small copse of trees) on her own a few weeks ago. She told me that when she did all she could think of was sitting there with me. I don’t know if I believe this. I think it more likely that she found it with Eoin and doesn’t want to tell me. I don’t really care. Not in any way that matters, anyway. 

The last remnants of what could reasonably be considered a path disappeared twenty minutes ago, and if I turn around to search for where we came from the grass stretches on forever. The grass goes on forever. I can’t tell if we’re trespassing—the fields around us are untended and wild, but I can’t imagine any plot this large having the privilege of being in disuse. I don’t know how Flora is keeping track of where we are and I haven’t asked how long the walk is going to take. 

Did I want to go on a walk with her? she’d asked me the day before.

We’d been lying on her bed watching a film. 

Sure. 

I watch now as she pushes aside dry branches and prickly leaves, leaving a small trampled trench for me to walk in. Behind me the grass stitches itself back together so that it seems we were never there. I can’t tell if she really was about to kiss me or if I had just been thinking about it. Too many seconds have passed since it happened and now I can’t think of it in any clarity at all. The more I replay the split-second the more it gets worn and fuzzy, the more I deceive myself into believing what my mind wants to remember. 

I think about kissing Flora a lot. It’s happened before. For a while I thought that meant that it would have to happen again. I’m not so sure anymore. Quite often I can’t tell if I want it to or not. I suppose the answer is I do, but I can’t tell what that would mean. I’m not sure what I would want it to. Flora’s stopped to examine something in the grass by her feet. I stare at the way her hair falls over her shoulders as she bends down. A piece of it falls into her eyes and the urge to push it back twists some tender spot in my gut. It’s that realisation. The one I keep having again and again and again

It first hit me a few weeks ago. We were sitting in a booth at the Two Foxes. It was colder then, it had been raining for weeks. It was still that period of false spring where flowers are drowned instead of raised. We were celebrating something, but I can’t quite remember what. I think Flora had handed in an essay she’d been slaving over. I hadn’t seen her much lately. 

I had begun to notice that it was always like that. I’d live inside her skin for a week, then left abandoned for just as long, stuck trying to remember how to stay warm on my own. It was then, lying in my bed in the dark that I’d think about ending things. It couldn’t go on for any longer, I wouldn’t let it. But I always did. Eventually the sun would come out and Flora’s hair would turn golden and that colour would wash onto the rest of my life. Maybe that was how it was always going to be. 

But that night we were sitting in the back of the Two Foxes and it was raining out. The windows were frosted with condensation, and the table we were at, all the way at the back of the pub, was sticky. My head had already become heavy and was lolling into my hand. 

We had spent the past ten minutes laughing hysterically at something Eoin had said to her the other day. I can’t remember exactly what it was now, and even if I could it wouldn’t be half as funny. I couldn’t tell if she really liked Eoin even though they’d been going out for over two months. I still can’t. He was texting her intermittently the whole evening. It was never about anything important, none of it was particularly witty either, but I think, if anything, that’s what she likes about him. He seems to always need her for no reason at all. 

I thought about that while we were sitting there. I thought about Eoin and Flora and how long she would entertain him before she got bored. I thought about me and Flora and how long it would take before the glamour wore off and we no longer knew each other. I thought about forever sometimes, infrequently, and not there in the pub. I thought about how my memories would change if I grew alongside someone instead of away from them. 

I suppose my drink was wearing off because suddenly I could sense that I had grown estranged from the whole evening. As if in a flood of cold water, I became wary of the fact that I had begun vying for Flora’s attention. I couldn’t tell when it had happened and it was only in the gap in our conversation that I noticed how the sensation grew. It was silly, and I tried to squash it down. Eoin had just called her. This wasn’t rare. There was always a fifty-fifty chance that she would pick up the phone, or that I’d be spared the interaction. Her eyes would gloss over the caller ID swiftly before she’d turn the phone over and continue talking to me as if nothing was happening. I liked it best when she did that. It thrilled me and warmed me and made me feel special. This time she had picked up. It had been a quick call. A short

parade of words: ‘Yes,’ and ‘Of course,’ and ‘That sounds good,’ before ‘Okay, I’ll see you then. Yeah… okay bye,’ and she’d hung up. 

It wasn’t anything important. She’d apologised, made him seem like a nuisance, and apologised again. Still, some scab had been scratched, and I could feel myself unravelling. I hated that I wasn’t mad or irritated. I was bleeding desperation and if I didn’t end things soon this sickness would become visible. Her hair was falling over her face as she looked down at her phone. My stomach ached. I could feel a curtain drawing closed between us. I gulped down the remnants of my drink and mumbled about going to use the bathroom. 

I gripped the sink and turned on the faucet. For a moment I stood there and listened to the water run. I closed my eyes and then thought I might fall over and opened them once more. Letting the cold water run over my wrists, I watched my chest move in the mirror as I breathed. I have to end things, something squeaked, I don’t want to do this any longer. In the mirror I looked worn out. I pushed my hair behind my ears. My cheeks were heating up, making me look fragile and feverish. 

When I returned to the table I feigned sickness. I needed to go home, I said. We parted outside of the pub and she hugged me tight and told me she’d missed me. Sobering up in the cold, I thought about never speaking to Flora again. 

We’ve reached the grove now, a grassy patch between high fields. She sits down and squints up at me. She stretches a hand up to drag me down and I let her. There are plums growing on the trees, some unlucky fruit already scattered around our feet. Sickly sweet for a moment before they begin to rot away. Summer will be the end of it and when everything is done I will be emptied entirely. It was never going to be any different. 

She leans her head on my shoulder. In the month before summer, I think of ending things.

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Culture Uncategorized

Arthur Rimbaud: The Disappearing Poet 

By Maisie Jennings

A small, drawn mouth, static brown hair like charged feathers, the foppish ease of his chin resting on the heel of his palm. Henri Fantin-Latour’s 1872 painting, By the Table, depicts Arthur Rimbaud amongst his austere contemporaries. The poet is seventeen – a year prior he had written The Drunken Boat, a dazzling anarchic gem of French symbolist verse, a year later he began to write the crystalline disorder of Illuminations. At twenty, Rimbaud leaves Paris, enlists in the Dutch Colonial Army, and never writes again. 

I was sixteen when I discovered Rimbaud – a poetic icon I found in my worship of Patti Smith, the crowish Poet Laureate of punk rock. In her memoir, Just Kids, Smith describes her adoration of Rimbaud; sixteen in Philadelphia, she stole a copy of Illuminations and found an ‘unrequited love for him’ with the same aching pangs of a teenage crush. I’ll admit, I recognised a smug concordance between the poet, Smith, and I – all sixteen, three centuries apart, and starting to write. Crucially, my poetry was largely sad teenage dreck and less consequential than a pebble in a pond; Rimbaud’s The Drunken Boat, with crests of purest transcendence and crashing depths of filth, changed the landscape of poetry with the force and beauty of a colossal wave. 

And from then on I bathed in the Poem

Of the Sea, infused with stars and lactescent,

Devouring the azure verses; where, like a pale elated

Piece of flotsam, a pensive drowned figure sometimes sinks

Art

The poem is a synaesthetic collection of perfect lines – some with the delicate cadence of seafoam , and others that howl monstrous from the sea’s abyss. It is a triumph of Rimbaud’s precocious mastery of verse and his youthful poetic philosophy. For Rimbaud, the poet becomes a kind of sybillic being through the disruption of the senses – verse, and its potential for capturing all octaves of sensory experience, is the medium for such transformation. In his Letters du Voyant (the name given by scholars to letters Rimbaud wrote in the May of 1871) he writes: ‘The Poet makes himself a seer by a long, gigantic and rational derangement of all the senses. All forms of love, suffering, and madness’. Rimbaud sought to directly encounter the unknown through revolutionising form; poetry became a kind of language of alchemy. 

Rimbaud was born in 1854 in Charleville, a village in Ardennes. In 1871, he wrote to poet Paul Verlaine, washed up in Paris, and the two began an affair that would culminate with a revolver and a bullet to the wrist, somewhere in Brussels, just two years later. Living down and out in Paris and London, I picture Rimbaud and Verlaine sulking in the acrid dinge of opium dens and cheap hotels – poets of the underbelly and the gutter. The original enfant terrible, Rimbaud’s Baudelairean lifestyle ostracised him from the Parisian literary coterie; in Latour’s painting, writer Albert Mérat is surreptitiously replaced by a vase, having refused to be “painted with pimps and thieves”. He describes his volatile relationship with Verlaine in Une Saison en Enfer, an extended poem in prose and the only book Rimbaud published, as a twisted domestic farce – Rimbaud the ‘infernal bridegroom’ and Verlaine the enslaved husband. Still, he entrusted the texts that would constitute Illuminations to Veraline – published ten years after Rimbaud had deserted from the Dutch Colonial Army and vanished in the jungles of Java, Indonesia. 

In his Illuminations, his treatment of the senses is hallucinatory and surreal – flavoured with absinthe, hashish, and the tumult of his travels with Verlaine. The world of Illuminations is at once utopic and apocalyptic; the poems describe the burnt asphalt and debris of a city, inhabited by angels, orphan children, princes, and giants. A Grimm metropolis textured with brimstone visions, it is perhaps Rimbaud’s most realised poetic revelation – a transcendence of the vatic poet. Why then, after having ostensibly fulfilled his poetic philosophy, does Rimbaud abandon his pen? I think the answer can be found in the beautiful, terrible images of Illuminations. Rimbaud presents us with a world that seems to be captured from the vignettes of a child’s nightmarish dream – his poetic achievement, then, seems to be located within his youth. At the cusp of adulthood, Rimbaud seems to have turned his psyche inside out, and then, turned away from his hallucinations, visions, and impressions, and towards the material world. He appears to offer a farewell to poetry: 

For sale: living places and leaving places, sports,

extravaganzas and creature comforts, and all the noise,

 movement, and hope they foment! 

For sale: mathematical certainties and astonishing harmonic leaps. 

Unimaginable discoveries and terminologies—available now.

After his departure from poetry, details of Rimbaud’s life as he travelled across three continents are obscure. Until his death from cancer, aged thirty-seven, in 1891, Rimbaud was soldier to a brutal imperialist regime, a mercenary, an arms dealer, a coffee trader – his one hundred and fifty-odd letters from his time in the Horn of Africa paint the portrait of a man, who was, more than anything, entirely prosaic. The visionary, adventurous seeds of wanderlust he planted in the sparkling landscapes of his poetry are a far cry from the scrupulously mercantile business man, complicit within a violent colonial enterprise, revealed by his correspondence. Latour’s portrait of the artist as a young man demonstrates a precocious bildungsroman – Rimbaud, at the start of his career, had already achieved a poetic maturity he could not sustain in adulthood. 

Image Credit: Google Arts and Culture

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Reviews Uncategorized

Symphonies, Cinema, and Screwing: Maestro, Tár, and Mahler

By James Young

In recent years, two films about classical music conductors have been released, featuring two different means of telling stories about the way creativity and eroticism interact. Beyond this, they share a score that heavily features the symphonies of Gustav Mahler, a man who married a woman half his age. Mahler was tormented by poor health which gave him a morbid fascination with his own mortality and how to transcend it. What he sought to do was reach into the future by writing music, like the great symphonic composers before him. Leonard Bernstein, the protagonist of the recent biopic Maestro, gave his image and performances to posterity by embracing live recording in both music and television. There are hours and hours of footage of Bernstein lecturing, rehearsing as well as performing, which he lends himself to with his charisma and gregariousness as well as a captivating and energetic style of conducting. A year before Maestro came out, Cate Blanchett played the fictional Lydia Tár in a much darker portrayal of callous lasciviousness and how musical excellence can and cannot justify it. 

Gustav Mahler composed the fifth symphony after suffering a brain haemorrhage. This meant the rousing vocal lines of his previous symphonies are no longer present, but a romantic tinge is still evident in the most famous of all Mahler’s work: the adagietto fourth movement, composed for his wife, Alma. Leonard Bernstein explained how this movement is marked by an ambiguity, a feature of Mahler’s marriage. He was not a benign husband, belittling Alma for her youth, which in his eyes meant that her music lacked “individuation.” To him, this justified his insistence that she stop composing her own music as there could only be one composer in their marriage. This contrasts with Alma’s previous lover who was also an older Jewish composer as well as being her piano teacher. Mahler said that his predecessor’s encouragement of her composition was only due to her status as an attractive young girl. For her part, Alma was (despite her taste in men) an antisemite who called her only surviving child a “half breed.” She was also less than honest in her management of Mahler’s posthumous legacy, going so far as to doctor his letters to portray him as lacking any sexuality beyond his attraction to her. 

The ambiguity of the adagietto is transposed onto Bernstein’s marriage in Maestro. The halfway point of the film, when the movement is performed, follows a montage of Bernstein and his wife Felicia raising their young family. Up until he meets her, he is only portrayed as having relationships with other men but the progression of his career requires him to “conduct his life” and, as with many gay men of the time, to keep up a conventional straight public persona. As Mahler’s adagietto creeps its way into the crescendo, we are shown an uneasy Felicia Bernstein, from afar but still distinct in the shadow cast by her husband conducting on the podium. This performance marks the point of the movie of a formal transition between two styles of filmmaking and even literal formats of the film: monochrome and colour. 

In Tár, the adagietto movement also marks a transition. We never hear the movement in its totality, but rather an incremental buildup in a series of rehearsals, wherein we only hear snippets followed by a frustrated Lydia Tár halting the orchestra and agonising over how it should be played. When she is finally satisfied and the end of the movement is reached and tears leave the eyes of those listening, Tár decides to manoeuvre to further satisfy her lust by selecting an accompanying song that her sexual fascination, the new cellist, could solo on. To do so she promotes her and brings her into a relationship of professional and personal intimacy. This is a type of relationship that Tár is familiar with, given that her wife is the first violinist of her orchestra and she is having an affair with her assistant. There is even an implication that this kind of thing has institutional precedent when in a conversation between Tár and her predecessor at the Berlin philharmonic, Tár asks him for advice on how to handle rumours regarding “sexual impropriety.” Moreover, Tár fires a carryover assistant from her predecessor’s tenure and while doing so, she implies that they were also conducting an affair by accusing him of “misogamy” (hatred of marriage), keeping an apartment on the same floor as him. 

This consecration of the private and the professional is not alien to Leonard Bernstein. Much like Alma Mahler, Bernstein was reported to have been engaged in an affair with his conducting teacher. The second half of Maestro also includes Leonard Bernstein’s assistant who was thirty years his junior and that he was in a relationship with. Bernstein brings his assistant into his home, which drives a wedge between him and his wife. This is followed by a crucial scene where Felicia, played tenderly by Carey Mulligan, tells Bernstein, played by Bradley Cooper, that his ego is out of control and his lack of discretion regarding his sexuality is jeopardising their family. The scene is sharp and theatrical, with the camera sitting wide and staying still, simply letting the actors’ fence with their exclamations. Their relationship is not repaired by any active effort of either party, but rather by a performance of Mahler’s Symphony No. 2, “Resurrection,” and Felicia’s subsequent realisation that this famous performance in Ely cathedral was not an imposition of Bernstein’s talent, as she had said of all his other performances. This performance was, for Felicia, evidence of the purity of his heart. This rings a little hollow and if it were not for Mulligan’s animated yet delicate performance, some of the lines would feel somewhat on the nose. 

“Tár” is not so reliant on musical splendour to propel the plot and character arcs. The director Todd Field and lead actor Cate Blanchet craft a character with a commanding screen presence but also a horrifying callousness. The viewer is left guessing her fate till the final shot, when the pathos of the character is on full display. Knowing this, the film rewards multiple viewings by filling it with significant details, such as what characters order at restaurants. Even the first line of the film, where Tár, in her role as musicologist, tells a tribal singer to “sing as if the microphone was not there,” gains an ironic twist when her bellicose lecture is secretly recorded, exposing her antagonization of a shy student who explains his inability to relate to the dead European men who dominate classical music. While her downfall is cathartic, the filmmakers are never clear about the moral judgement they make on Lydia Tár, to the annoyance of some critics and commentators in the real world of classical music. She explicitly worships her predecessors, both the composers whose works she conducts, as well as the conductors that inspired her, key among them Leonard Bernstein. The way that the film characterises her talents seems to imply that on that basis alone, she deserves to join their lofty heights. Moreover, as has been seen, her sins of “sexual impropriety” do not discount others from ascending to the same exulted ranks. Cue pontification about separating art and artist. 

Rather than wading into that discussion, a parallel between Lydia Tár’s aggrandizing of the tradition she upholds, and that of the writer/director/star of Maestro, can be made. Bradley Cooper is a competent director, but with Maestro he seems to want to transcend that and make some kind of statement. His style evokes directors who were more than capable of this, with the monochrome first half heavily indebted to Fellini in all his sharp contrast glory, then the second half simmers down into an intimate John Cassavetes domestic drama. Where these directors took their time to craft sequences that were fitting for their specific content and the broader development of the film, and in so doing develop an idiomatic style, Cooper simply adopts them and mangles them together with Mahler and Carey Mulligan as the glue. Perhaps it can be said that instead of composing a film, Cooper is merely conducting one already composed by other directors. Moreover, there is something about the script that does not really sit right. The dialogue can be very on the nose, since a lot of it is taken almost verbatim from interviews and memoirs from Bernstein and those closest to him, which gives the effect of the referentiality of world building as if it were a part of the Leonard Bernstein extended universe. The plot also never really feels deliberate, since Cooper wants to cover the entirety of a lifelong marriage in two hours, meaning that rather than finding a specific and coherent story from Bernstein’s marriage that could be a synecdoche for its entirety, Cooper chooses to jump from scene to scene and indeterminate period to indeterminate period, without much to attach them. 

Perhaps this is Cooper’s understanding of a character piece, where characters simply explicate their feelings and musical performances are so powerful and spectacular as to be enough to overcome conflict and tortured psyches. If it were not for the admittedly excellent performances and deft cinematography, the film would come off a lot more trite. As it is, Maestro operates best as an ode or homage, where Cooper celebrates the directors that influenced him and the conductor whose story enraptured him, but it still feels like there is a performed weight, where the film asks to be considered with more gravitas that it can justify. Unfortunately, and this must be said, Cooper seems to want to embody the sophistication and the grandiosity that someone like Bernstein represents to him but can ultimately only pastiche it. This is an irony that Tár falls victim to as well when she complains that she can only summon pastiche in her conducting yet chooses as her album cover a literal imitation of Claudio Abbado’s recording of the same symphony. 

I came across a picture of Bradley Cooper reading a copy of Nabokov’s Lolita with his former girlfriend, who was about half his age, in a public park. I don’t intend to moralise on the matter of their age difference, but rather ask: why did he do so in public and with a choice of book that was so on the nose. There’s that phrase again, as Bernstein would say about some repeating musical motif in a televised lecture; but here the phrase can refer to a literal nose, perhaps the prosthetic one worn by Bradley Cooper to play Bernstein. I think this public enjoyment of Lolita is much like the artifice of the nose, which was an artifice that seemed to communicate some kind of perverse self-awareness. However, the prosthetic nose in Maestro can symbolise an attempt by Cooper to transcend himself and stop letting his ego get the better of him, as Bernstein learnt to do as the film concluded. Of course, it is not so simple, and while Maestro wants to feel sincere, it comes off as if it was conceived by someone who forgot how to feel sincerity. But to call this man a narcissist, a man who simultaneously wrote, directed and starred in a film as a celebrated artist, is redundant. 

Where Tár succeeds is in how the filmmakers maintain an appropriate critical distance, by which they and, by proxy, the viewers get to live in the ambiguity of their story and the ‘truth’ of the matter. In an interview Cate Blanchett calls the story “Greek” in the way that it demonstrates how the tragedy of the supposedly glorious is not just found in some external circumstance, but ultimately and ironically in themselves. Tár seeks to assert her individuality in the face of the tradition of classical music but is met with a fate that is shared by other conductors who thought they were too talented and captivating to be ruined by their undisciplined egos. Mahler wanted to transcend his humble beginnings and an upbringing tainted by child mortality, but he lost one of his children and would later die due to a defective heart inherited from his mother. His music was banned under the Nazis for his Jewish heritage and almost forgotten due to its perceived kitsch and overwrought late romantic style. It took till Leonard Bernstein’s generation, half a century later, to revive interest in him and canonise him in the tradition of symphonic music. What the filmmakers of Tár and Mahler (in his later compositions at least) have in common is an understanding of the iterative nature of their artistry, how they are merely a new expression of something much older. Whereas Maestro is a just replication, a costume of monumentality being adorned by a passable film, which only highlights its mediocrity. Perhaps the worship of your predecessors only leads to a strange fixation, where you fashion an image for yourself that replicates that which you’ve identified in your predecessors, with all the “impropriety” you feel for them being justified when reflected back on you. 

Image credit: IMDb

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Poetry Uncategorized

Sand

By Ludwig Hemel

 

Ludwig Hemel is a poet and musician. Find him on Spotify under his artist name, IXMES. 

 

 

Sand

Holy sights have been buried beneath it.

Still digging to find relics of the past,

Trying to understand what was intended, what is behind it.

Only blood dries for centuries on it, but cannot be covered,

It changes colour and cannot be seen,

But once you walk upon it; it is what you feel.

The relics of the past suddenly become real,

Although we all thought, it is a fear of the past.

Up in heaven, it is divinely green

Pastures of body, old olive trees 

Down in the South, it is grey and dark

Eagerly hopes, for the sand to bury all marks 

 

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Poetry Uncategorized

Log Na Coille, somewhere west of Lourdes

By E. R Fletcher

My empty ribs and sallow, sunk 

Eyes dart around my frescoed 

mind, and there you are. Dear, 

Confess! Just to hold your gentle face. 

 

My soul rejoices at your visage, do 

Look with favour, your lowly servant 

Supine at your shrine- Oh, 

Much Less! Kiss my curled temple. 

 

I’ve loved you since I met you- 

Maria- every day the same, and 

Growing- I scarcely sleep, my thoughts

undressed- I’ve made such an awful hames. 

Look beyond my eyes, I beg- 

God! Bless, my perfect shame. 

 

Image Credit: PJW Photography

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Poetry Uncategorized

Kelpie

By Jake Roberts

 

An old statuette demands supremacy

From the safety of the mantelpiece.

Yours, up for good this time, you smile,

This time we promised. Flecks of paint,

 

Faint from here, returned to taunt

The drab shallows of newer portraits

With their clammy, photographic sheen.

Not she, all gloss and grin, crafted,

 

Polished, matchless bride

To interior pining. You dance

Your way around the sun, hours snap by,

Night washes in, I elope backwards.

 

Morning comes early. I race its breaking

But find a glib dawn at the window,

Your skin pooling like wax, hot pain

Like the tearing of ligaments, a smile

 

Still – not that which I had seen before.

The crackle of denial from a smirk

Scratches my nostrils like spilt perfume

Or varnish; my breath is repossessed.

 

I am lifted by a mocking thunder,

A palimpsest of grief smeared

On every bone; pinched, dragged

Before a howling jury, I miss the verdict.

 

They send me whence you came,

The backs of my legs bruising

As they smack against attic stairs.

Alone, my fingers claw a final word.

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Poetry Uncategorized

Mama

By Sara Zubaidi 

These familiar syllables that did frame

The feeling of perversion in my throat

For naught the bilabial nasal sound

That echoes a child’s sleepy melody,

A fleeting sprite in invention’s reverie

Felt in the birthing cries of her labour

Nor because it vibrates as the soft hum

In chambers close, untold tales softly thrum

Like notes lost in the void’s quiet breath

To hymns where willing spirits intertwine

Instead, repeated syllables throb keenly

Posing as the vivid evocation

Of how my mother preaches about her

Mama, as if she is speaking of God

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Poetry Uncategorized

Melted Sapphire Seeps

By Eve Messervy

You are the face I saw in rain 

So fragile; melted sapphire seeps, 

Crying gushes rivers, sleep 

Through flooded webs of long – lost lust, 

Windows healing, questions burnt 

Of widows leaving stone and dirt,

Howling prayers that wilt away and

Dissipate to nuanced day,

Another unjust pneuma utters 

Words so empty, ink that stutters,

Gutters flood from monsters grief,

They’re broken heroes 

Alone they weep, 

But we squint our eyes, 

In attempt to see, the lines of lies that 

Will make us free, rain 

That drips like melted sapphire seeps

Cold as stone; as silent as sleep

Yet all in all a stone alone 

A face that fades, a face it formed 

Through unfelt fingers and 

Eyes blurred stiff I sit by the steps

And list ‘what ifs’

Categories
Poetry Uncategorized

Painted like Klimt

By Eve Messervy

 

To be a woman is to be perfectly 

destructive;

To be painted like Klimt 

Bleeding gold

With a faint smile.

I met a woman who kept me asleep once,

Uttering such words

She made me cry.

 

She had not the gift of motherhood

Nor the touch of love,

Her hands were hard-worked,

her skin weathered.

She wore lines of lust and love 

And torment 

Tear burns beside her eyes like 

companions to the lenses,

The mark of sorrow stained.

To be a woman is to be perfectly destructive

She said

Holding my hand as I slept 

 

I see a sacred subtlety in the eyes of a women 

A stone cold fire 

burns the smell of florals

And feels like linen on naked skin.

Early morning beams of sun 

decorate the sheets.

I open up my sore eyes

To an empty palm, I close my fist –

It dawns on me 

As my reflection looks back 

Into the tear burned eyes 

Like companions, to my lenses.

 

My tyrant mind

Plays tricks with me

And dances like I used to dance

It conjures up the girls from Klimt 

And bleeds gold 

into my dreams.

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Mauricelli with a side of Medici

The stratified building is a mammoth of design, several renaissance and architectural museums housed within the old bank: herculean figures move the viewer in scherzando amongst the daring mirrors, traversing historical battle friezes and old Florentine portraits. Amongst the tourists, art guards and generous collections is a canvassed space, dedicated to the visionaria of Italian fashion, Germana Marucelli.  

 

The curator’s pre-ambling score describes the temporary exhibit and Germana’s pieces as ‘woman in constant metamorphosis’; the original furniture and oval dimensions of the salon walls are contained in the exhibit, unfolding an immersive experience that combines ‘in un connublio perfetto tra arte, moda, spazio, volume e colore’, (Uffizi catalogue description 2023: Compositore Spaziale Rosso, Paulo Scheggi). 

 

Getulio Alviani’s Interpretazione speculare, is presented alongside Carla Venosta’s Tavolo, and accompanied by several works by the designer Paulo Scheggi. Counterpointing, each element works together to signal the different design lines that Germana made throughout her career. Scheggi’s 1964 inter-surface canvases act as precursors to Mauricelli’s Optical Line (Spring/ Summer 1965), as well as laying the foundation for his own later works, which can be credited with the forging of the spatial art epoch in Italy. The placement of these objects brings the viewer further into Mauricelli’s design practice, her intellect and technique, whilst leaving the panorama of the museum in the periphery. 

 

The musicality of Mauracelli’s lines resounds in her sketches: Presenze (Presences) reverberates the renaissance technicalities of figure, whilst displaying an antagonism in the golden material itself. In another space, an angular armoured bodice floats above azzure culottes. There are hints of space odyssey, especially in the Alluminio line- the ‘Completa da sera’ suit (Spring/ Summer 1969) – moves beyond a dyad through the immersive reflectors that the gallery have strategically placed, with the lapis silk that ripples to the museum fans. [fig.1 and 2] 

 

Giotto al funghi

The feast of the assumption- a national holiday in Italy, leads us north to Padova and coincidently to Giotto’s Scrovegni Chapel dedicated to the Madonna and nestled in the Roman Arena ruins. By train, Firenze S.M.N station offers some direct trains in the direction of Venezia S. Lucia; in August the journey took just short of two hours, avoiding the crowds that were staying onto Venice. Padova’s different pace seems not only a reflection of the religious holiday but the significance of Giotto’s art trail of 14th century frescoes (a world heritage site since 2021). The opening of the chapel to the public for the evening series Giotto sotto le Stelle from March and November is an atmospheric way to explore the chapel, located in the city’s old centre. Booking a day in advance is advised due to the limited capacity of the site. The Giardini dell’Arena (adjacent to the site) has several drinks and food stalls for before the visit, whilst some other restaurants opened later, gaining a two euro commission for holy day… 

 

Pinsa Pizzeria has a good selection of beer, pizze and pinse on Corso Giuseppe Garibaldi Street. The Papa Francesco or Garibaldi pizze were recommended and deviously good. In the region, you may also find a curious pasta, strangolapreti- nicknamed as priest chokers- the twisted shapes are best with chanterelle and veronese mountain cheese or, with ragu.

 

The lure of Padova’s Giotto cycles- repaired from twentieth century war damages- follow the painter’s early journey through the medieval town before his emergence back in Florence as a renowned gothic star. They remain an interesting way to navigate the city today. However, the one-way systems and number caps may entice you to the outdoor spaces the city has: to its food markets such as outside Ragione Palace and the Gastronomia marcolin or to the Orto Botanico gardens of the university. Near the Basilica of Saint Anthony (Padua’s saint) the gardens lie south from the main station, the Via S. Francesco will take you past the perimeter of the reliquary towards the main entrance of the pilgrimage site, opening onto the piazza del Santo. The Magnolia tree (1786) and infamous hollow Plane Tree (1680) are important points within the garden, the museum that adjoins it illustrates the romanticisation and study of the plants by Goethe as well as showcasing a strangely large clay mushroom collection. The garden’s app, Botanical Garden of Padova, is a great point of reference to learn more about the history of the trees, fauna and fungi and how certain plants came to be in the ambient northern city.